


Broom Brawl

by Sparisoma



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Fukurodani - Freeform, Nekoma, always wear a helmet kids, broom ball? more like broom brawl, broomball, everyone falls when playing broomball, implied bokuaka, implied kuroken, its raining volleyball players, kinda a crackfic but honestly if they every played it would probably go something like this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-15
Updated: 2018-07-15
Packaged: 2019-06-10 15:46:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15294795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sparisoma/pseuds/Sparisoma
Summary: '“broom-brawl? I thought we were playing broomball,”“We have all of Nekoma and all of Fukurodani with Bokuto and Kuroo on separate teams. Do you honestly think we’ll be able to play a normal game of broom ball?"'





	Broom Brawl

**Author's Note:**

> Help. I've fallen into the Haikyuu fandom and I can't get up.

It started with Bokuto Kotarou spitting water all over the table in the restaurant, coughing until he turned red and teary, and then shoving his phone into Kuroo Tetsuro’s face with a wheezy, “ _bro.”_

Kuroo exchanged the phone with a handful of napkins and proceeded to replay the video that had reduced Bokuto to his sputtering state. Seconds later laughter, loud enough to garner the attention of nearly half the restaurant, exploded from the other volleyball captain. “Bro oh my god,” Kuroo cackled.

Akaashi Keiji and Kenma Kozume could only share a pained look and a single thought: _oh no…_

 

“It’s called _broom-ball_ and it’s a western game that is just like hockey-”

“- So it’s hockey,” Kenma said flatly interrupting Kuroo’s explanation.

“But no skates, just shoes,”

“And a broom?” Akaashi said dubiously as he interrupted Bokuto.

“Yes,” Bokuto said at the same time Kuroo said, “no.”

Kenma and Akaashi, long used to the outlandish and often crazy ideas that came from Kuroo and Bokuto, shared a sigh and another long look.

“Just show us the video that makes you want to play so much,” Akaashi said exasperated.

This time it was Bokuto and Kuroo who shared the look, a hesitant one.

“It was probably some wipeout during a game that if we see we’ll realize how dangerous broom ball is and say no when they invite us to go play it,” Kenma said without looking up from his handheld game. After several years of knowing each other, there wasn’t much that could be hidden from the attentive setter.

“Okay, it _really_ wasn’t that bad-” Bokuto began trying to save the idea.

“Nope Kenma’s right as always,” Kuroo said recognizing the futility of hiding the truth.

Bokuto relented with a defeated, “yeah,” and Akaashi sighed for about the tenth time since Bokuto’s water incident.

“But think about it,” Kuroo said winding up to once again convince Kenma and Akaashi to go along with his and Bokuto’s ‘adventure.’

“Team bonding that _isn’t_ another volleyball game, no important games coming up, and it is something cool to do while it is so darn hot outside!”

Akaashi looked to Kenma who shrugged and continued to work on clearing a level in his game. He then looked at Bokuto who was definitely trying to use the ‘puppy-eyes’ move and then to Kuroo who smiled. With two ‘yes’ votes and one ‘meh, whatever,’ Akaashi was officially outvoted.

“Fine, the four of us are free next Friday night right?” Akaashi said.

“Oh no, not the four of us I meant everyone,” Kuroo said.

“Everyone?” Kenma’s head suddenly shot up. He had been under the assumption that what Kuroo really wanted was a chance to hit Bokuto with a stick among other icy shenanigans. Kenma didn’t think they would play an actual _game_ that required more organization above simply asking for permission from a rink.

“Why both of our volleyball teams of course,” Kuroo said with an alarmingly mischievous smile, “a Fukurodani and Nekoma showdown on ice.”

 

“You know you didn’t need to bring an _actual broom_ right?”

“But Kuroo said—”

“Oh forget it Lev just leave it on the side!” Yaku said throwing his arms up in the air in frustration. The rest of the team, even Kenma, snickered quietly at the duo’s antics.

Currently the Nekoma volleyball team, _the entire team_ , was standing in the lobby of a frigid ice rink waiting for their opponents to show up. As it turned out, the rink they had found occasionally hosted broom-ball nights for various groups and had all the equipment needed.

“Why do we have to be here so late at night?” Kenma asked yawning and elbowing Kuroo.

“Because,” Kuroo whipped his head fast enough to make the strings on the side of his black cat-eared beanie hit his face, “it is cheaper to wait for the general evening public session to end. And this way we can use the entire ice surface.”

The public session ended at 10pm. Normally at this time Kenma would be cocooned in blankets and making his way through a videogame and a roll of Oreos.  

At precisely 9:55, the doors of the rink flew open and the Fukurodani Volleyball team, _the entire team_ , sauntered in.

“Get ready for ass kicking!” Bokuto cried wearing an owl themed beanie that was as ridiculous looking as Kuroo’s.

“Showing up late and having the audacity to say stuff like that?” Kuroo snapped back. “Pretty bold of you.”

“Come on we have waivers to sign before we play broom-brawl,” Akaashi said pushing between the two captains who were standing toe to toe.

“broom-brawl? I thought we were playing broomball,” Yaku said.

“We have all of Nekoma and all of Fukurodani with Bokuto and Kuroo on separate teams. Do you honestly think we’ll be able to play a normal game of broomball?

“You’re right about that. But waivers? Is broom ball really that hard to play?”

“Getting scared?” Akaashi asked playfully challenging tone.

“Oh you wish,” Yaku scoffed back grabbing a paper and pen from the stack on a table where the teams had gathered.

The loud speaker in the rink crackled to life announcing that the public session was now over. An employee brought out a box of broom ball sticks, which were neither brooms nor hockey sticks, and a box of hockey helmets. Two large, well-used hockey goals were set up on opposite ends of the ice. The patrons who exited the rink noticed the competitive and excited aura that surrounded the teams immediately.

They decided to mix up the teams since Nekoma Volleyball currently had more members than Fukurodani. Kuroo directed all who were either a middle blocker or a setter to be on one team while those who were either a wing spiker or a libero were on the other.

(“There are seventeen of us total, eight on nine it is still uneven. How about I sit out?”

“No Kenma, you are on the team with only eight people you _have to_ play,”

“You did that on purpose,”

“I would never purposely do such a thing kitten, now go get a blue helmet,”)

 

A hush fell over the group of teenagers as the doors to the ice opened. With sticks in hand they gingerly and carefully took their first footsteps on the icy surface.

“Oh hey this isn’t too bad!” Lev cried tentatively shuffling towards the center of the ice, “It’s just like walking through a school hallway after it has been freshly mopped!”

An audible huff could be heard from the back of the group before Yaku yelled, “shut up and focus on walking! Any why would you walk on a mopped floor before it was dry?”

“Because-”

“Okay,” Bokuto cried waving his broomball stick around in the air, “blue team on the far side, white team on this side!”

Kuroo, Kenma, Lev, Inouka, and Teshiro from Nekoma along with Akaashi, Washio, and Onaga from Fukurodani gathered on one side of the red line that divided the ice in half.

“Dibs on being the goalie!” Lev cried clipping a face guard to his helmet and shuffling down the ice towards the red goal.

“But Lev what about being in the front,” Kenma pointed out trying to subtly convince the first year to move so _he_ could be the goalie instead. If he had to play, he wanted to play the least amount.

“But Yaku is being the goalie on the other team, I wanna play the same position!” Lev pointed across the ice where Yaku was settling himself in front of the net. He caught Kenma’s eye and stuck his tongue out. Kenma scowled and grumbled to himself.

“Wait you guys are all on the same team!” Bokuto cried pointing to Akaashi, Kuroo, and the pouting Kenma.

Kuroo shrugged “it’d be too confusing to shuffle the teams now.”

“But I wanted to be on Akaashi’s team,” Bokuto whined.

“Scared you can’t win without him?” Konoha suddenly said appearing on Bokuto’s side.

“Yeah, this could be your chance to beat all three of them,” Komi added.

Akaashi could see the moment his fellow teammate’s succeeded in lighting a fire within Bokuto’s ego. The atmosphere changed and Bokuto’s eyes gleamed.

“You’re going down Akaashi! You too Kuroo!” Bokuto yelled. “White team, form up!”

Kai, Yamamoto, Fukunaga, and Shibayama from Nekoma along with Sarukui from Fukurodani cheered.

Akaashi bid a silent thank-you to his teammates and stepped back to be in line with Kenma to hopefully serve as primary defense.

“Okay, somebody keep score and let’s play!” Kuroo cried tossing the ball into the center of the ice and that was the exact moment everything went to the dogs.

 

“SHI-” The wind was knocked out of Konoha before he had a chance to finish his swear a she fell flat on his back for the second time in a row.

Akaashi laughed as he swept the ball away from Konoha only to almost trip over his own feet after passing it off.

All formation, coordination, and plans had gone out the window the moment the ball hit the ground. Both teams became like a swarm of bees relentlessly racing towards the red rubber sphere. It looked ridiculous, a swarm of teenagers huddled in a circle hitting each other’s ankles more often than the ball. At times a lucky shot would send the ball careening down the ice only to be surrounded by the swarm again moments later. 

Despite having the ice decently scratched up from the public session, there were still patches, specifically in the corners, that were almost pristine and even a slight shifting of weight could send one crashing to the ground. That was where Konoha and Akaashi were now, close to Yaku’s, the white team’s, goal.

It was quickly discovered that while almost everyone _could_ run across the ice in their sneakers, stopping was another matter altogether. For the first few minutes nobody was able to hit the ball in a semi-coordinated manner since all energy was diverted towards keeping their balance after realizing that the couldn’t come to a stop as if they were playing street hockey.

Still, that didn’t deter Kuroo, Bokuto, and Yamamoto to go racing full speed after the ball. Not even when Yamamoto accidentally body-checked Kuroo into the wall a few minutes earlier because he couldn’t slow down.

“Oh hell,” Konoha said trying to shove Akaashi out of the way as the ball came rolling back towards him. “Bokuto our goal is _that_ way!”

“Sorry I sent it to Akaashi on accident!”

“Thanks,” Akaashi called trying to hit the ball with his stick before Konoha could.

“You sneak, tricking Bokuto like that – move it! Oy! _NO KICKING ALOUD—“_ Konoha shouted as he and Akaashi fought practically standing forehead to forehead in a tangle of sticks and ankles and arm waves as they struggled to keep their balance.

Akaashi had momentarily abandoned using the broomball stick to kick the ball across the ice as if in a soccer game and immediately paid the price by falling at Konoha’s feet.

“Go Inouka go!” Akaashi cried as his temporary teammate swept the ball away and towards the goal.

“NOT TODAY!” Yamamoto cried successfully sliding in front of Inouka and swiping the ball away from him. With a loud _THWACK_ he sent it flying across the ice, across the red line, and far into the blue team’s territory.

“Kenma send it back!” Inouka yelled trying to distance himself from Yamamoto.

 

Technically, Lev was the goalie, but Kenma stayed very close as ‘defense’. He couldn’t decide if he was annoyed that the spot with the least movement was taken or glad that the least coordinated person on the team was the one who took it.

He was cold despite wearing multiple jackets, his shoes were getting wet from standing on ice, and he’d be much happier if he could at least sit in the hockey box and play a game or something.

It took him a second to realize that the red rubber ball was suddenly flying towards him and before he could do anything to stop it, it had rolled between his legs and towards the goal behind him.

“Kenma!” Lev cried as he was suddenly swarmed by the offensive members from the other team trying to score. 

“Oops,” Kenma said and simply watched as Lev tried to hold Bokuto, Yamamoto, and several others at bay while waiting for Kuroo to arrive and help. The blue team fought valiantly but eventually the white team was able to take advantage of Lev’s lack of coordination and score a goal.

Bokuto fell to the ground like a sack of potatoes after jumping up in the air while cheering and if they hadn’t been at an ice rink, Yamamoto would have definitely taken his shirt off. Kenma shuffled away from the group of people trying to get Bokuto to stop parading the ball around and set it back in the center so they could start the next round.

“Kenma!” Yaku called from across the ice where he stood in white team’s goal.

Kenma looked over with an annoyed sigh.

“Nice defense you got going!” Yaku teased using his broomball stick to tap the space between his feet and made an exaggerated surprise look on his face before laughing.

And then Kenma snapped.

 

Akaashi wasn’t one to endorse teasing during a volleyball game but then again this wasn’t volleyball, it was broomball. So he thought nothing about employing Yaku to try and get Kenma a little more invested in the game. However, the look that came over Kenma’s face made him think that perhaps teasing was not the best course of action.

Kenma didn’t look mad or insulted. No, he got the same look he got when playing games right before he meticulously obliterated an opponent. Akaashi looked over at Yaku who had likely realized he might have done his job too well.

“Let me,” Kenma said nudging Kuroo and taking his place opposite of Bokuto. The ball rested between them and they had been about to start the next round.

“Um okay?” Kuroo said moving off to the side.

“Ready, set,”

“ _Go._ ” Kenma dexterously flicked the ball to the side before Bokuto could react, wound back and proceeded to hit it with all his might towards his opponent’s goal.

A new challenger had entered the game.

 

“Okay so you knew Kenma was secretly a broomball demon right?” Bokuto said casually as he balanced his stick on the edges of fingers like a circus performer.

“No, I think Akaashi tried to make him more invested in the game by having Yaku encourage him but now he’s just pissed off and wants to win out of spite,” Kuroo said as he too balanced his broom ball stick on his hand.

“Well, makes our jobs a whole lot easier,” Bokuto said shuffling his feet to keep the stick balanced.

“Sure does,” Kuroo agreed.

“Can you guys quit screwing around practicing for the circus and actually play?” Konoha called shuffling past trying to keep up with Kenma who, much to everyone’s surprise, was unafraid to _sprint_ after the ball. 

 

“Kenma here!” Akaashi called. Kenma dodged around Yamamoto and snapped the ball towards him. “Move up towards the goal!” Akaashi yelled as he battled Konoha for the ball. Akaashi no longer tried to kick with his feet, the threat of falling or having Konoha hit his ankles with a broomball stick was to great. 

Slowly both teams were getting the hang of the game, knowing how fast to run and when to start trying to stop themselves. People still fell flat on their asses of course and it was still just as funny the first time.

“You look like a fish!” Yamamoto yelled at Kai, Nekoma’s vice captain, who had flopped onto his stomach after tripping over his own broomball stick and was struggling to stand back up on the slippery surface. 

With the accumulation of coordination and strategy came a lack of need for every player to surround the ball which was how the two volleyball captains ended up in the corner doing tricks with the broomball sticks.

“Go Kenma!” Inouka yelled after getting the ball from Akaashi and swinging it towards Kenma. It was the perfect shot and without thinking, Kenma aimed for the goal.

Except it wasn’t an uncoordinated Lev who was guarding it, it was the fast and agile Yaku. Similar to receiving a volleyball during a game, Yaku lunged to the side using his leg along with the broomball stick to stop the goal.

“Libero flexibility,” Yaku said triumphantly and Kenma’s eye twitched and he gritted his teeth.

“Now you know how it feels to have your awesome shot stopped by this little guy!” Bokuto cried suddenly appearing next to Yaku and whisking the ball away.

“Fall on your ass Bokuto!” Yaku yelled after him.

 

“Yamamoto! Inouka! Stop trying to penguin slide on the ice and get back to helping your teams!” Yaku yelled angrily after Akaashi’s team managed to score a goal. Speaking of goals…

“Is anyone keeping score?” Akaashi suddenly stopped and called out. The game paused before Lev piped up:

“Twenty to four, my team’s favor!”

“ _Liar!_ ” Yaku yelled hitting the ice with his stick, “you do not have twenty points!”

The two goalies began arguing across the ice, neither refusing to budge even when one of them was _clearly wrong._

“Kenma do you know?” Kuroo asked.

“At the beginning of the game you yelled for ‘someone’ to keep score. And I assumed someone other than me would do it so no, I don’t know which team is winning,” Kenma shrugged.

Akaashi sighed and looked at the large clock on the wall. They had been playing for nearly an hour and despite the constant movement, he wagered that he wasn’t the only one who was cold and tired.

“It is getting late, we could just say that the blue team wins,” Kenma suggested smiling slyly.

“Absolutely not the game shall not end like this!” Bokuto yelled. “Sudden death round! First to score wins, let’s go!”

Akaashi couldn’t help but smile at the contagious energy that suddenly radiated from Bokuto and filled the entire ice. The group could manage one last goal and the prospect of bragging rights spurred them on.

With new energy and sleep deprivation getting the better of everyone’s judgement, they played with an intensity far greater than before.

Yaku had developed a nasty strategy of pushing the ball away from the goal and into the corner where it was more slippery and harder to control ones footing. He used it every time the ball came his way during the final round and nearly every player gained one additional bruise because of it.

Kenma and Akaashi surprised even themselves with how invested in the final round they became as they raced back and forth across the ice. Konoha could hardly keep up and the three of them bumped into each other and knocked each other over constantly like a set of sentient bowling pins.

And, just as before, Bokuto, Kuroo, and Yamamoto chased after the ball with wild abandon not caring for who was in their way or remembering that ice had less friction than a volleyball court.  

In the end, the blue team was done in by Lev’s lack of coordination. He tried to copy Yaku’s move of using the stick and his legs to form a barrier around the goal but only succeeded in slipping and falling to the side just enough for Konoha to sneak the ball past.

“WE WON!” Bokuto cried running up to Konoha.

“BOKUTO NO!” Akaashi cried too late as Bokuto tried to pick Konoha up in celebration only to slip and take his fellow wing spiker down with him. The cheers were cut short as everyone raced over to make sure that the Fukurodani players were not actually injured. Once it was confirmed that both were simply more bruised than before, laughter and cheering returned.

 

“We’re all one giant bruise,” Kenma groaned as he tossed his helmet into the bin. Akaashi nodded unable to speak as the exhaustion finally set in. Instead of staying up watching television, he would probably go straight to bed once he got home (as long as Bokuto didn’t want to go anywhere).

“I don’t think I did too bad,” Yaku said taking his helmet off.

“That’s ‘cause you do any running so you didn’t do any falling!” Yamamoto argued.

“Or,” Yaku pulled up the sweatpants he was wearing to reveal his volleyball kneepads underneath.

“Oh, smart,” Kenma said while Yamamoto and Lev complained infuriated that Yaku hadn’t shared the idea beforehand.

“I think this went well,” Bokuto said to the group.

“That’s only because you won,” Kuroo and Akaashi said simultaneously.

“It is not! We all had fun!” Bokuto argued petulantly.

“Yeah, yeah,” Kuroo said running a hand through his sweaty hair. It was a good thing he and Bokuto had thought to bring beanies so that they wouldn’t have to go home with embarrassing helmet-hair. Speaking of hats…

“Hey where’s my cat hat?” Kuroo called to the group. All conversation stopped and swiveled towards Kenma who was wearing a very familiar looking beanie.

“Time to go Kuro, we need to catch the train home,” was all Kenma said as he began walking towards the door with his eyes glued to his phone.

“Oy give that back!”

           

The group of teens walked together until it was time to go their separate ways. Calls of ‘good-game’ and ‘good night’ were abundant as they said farewell. Both team captains ordered their players to text them the minute they reached their houses so they know they made it home safely.

“Okay admit it, this was a good idea,” Kuroo said smugly to Kenma and Akaashi. They, along with Bokuto lingered for a few minutes longer after everyone else had left.

Akaashi and Kenma shared a look and a sigh. “Contrary to almost all of the other ideas you’ve had, I guess we’ll give you this one,” Akaashi said speaking for the two of them. Despite the bruises to both body and pride, every heart was happy and every mind was full of warm memories.

Bokuto cheered and swung his arm around Akaashi and Kenma’s shoulders. “Does this mean you two will consider going to that place with the skydiving we found?”

" _ABSOLUTLY NOT!”_ They yelled.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Bonus: Lev had to carry his bright green broom all the way back home. Yaku recorded on his snapchat all the strange looks he got from strangers on the subway. 
> 
> Thanks for reading! Inspired by an actual game of broom ball I played. (yes there was penguin sliding)  
> Always be sure to wear a helmet if you ever play and beware the slippery corners.
> 
> Come say hello on tumblr! aetobatus-narinari.tumblr.com


End file.
